Marriage is not just simply making wedding plans and picking out china patterns. It is very complex. The nice and tidy way that things worked on in the planning stage and on paper doesn’t compare to real life. Real life is not so neat and tidy.
Unfortunately, many couples fail to anticipate what will happen once the vows are made. The focus is often on planning the details of their marriage. It will help you immensely to be prepared for what will happen after your wedding and you start your life together. So, be aware of these common mistakes that women make and you will be one step closer to avoiding making them.
Don’t Tell Your Friends about Your Marital Problems
Telling your best friend about your problems may come naturally. She has probably stuck by your side through the years. It may just feel right to use your friend as a sounding board for your marriage troubles. Here’s the problem with that: your friend loves you and is loyal to you. The jury’s still out on the man you married.
If you’re going to her to burden her with everything that goes wrong, she will end up hating your husband on your behalf. Thus, she will never really give him and your marriage a real chance. Over time, can cause enough strain that will in itself cause problems. You may end up cutting ties with your friend because of her antagonism against the man you married. Or, even, she may influence you to separate from your husband.
Don’t Expect Him to Change
There’s an old saying about the different ways men and women view marriage. Men, according to this old saying, find the perfect woman to marry wishing that she will never change. Women, however, go find a guy with a lot of promise and then marry him hoping to change him. Unfortunately for you, men are resistant to change and are often actually hurt when you try to force them on him.
If you seriously want change in your marriage, it’s best to start by making your own positive changes. Then you have a good chance that your spouse will notice and even want to be a part of it. First he has to decide that it is a change for the better, not just for the sake of making a change. It’s a mistake going in at the start expecting him to change. It’s only destined to leave both of you feeling out of sorts and disappointed.
Don’t Forget to Connect with Your Husband
We have a lot of connections in our lives. We spend effort building relationships with our friends, children, even coworkers. People even spend time building connections on social media networks and online message boards. We use our “free time” and feel entitled to make these connections.
Surprisingly, we oftentimes fail in reaching out and connection with the one person who is most important to us. We believe that it somehow is supposed to be automatic and require no active participation in order to keep going. Nothing could be further from the truth. We need to build the bond with shared activities and experiences if we want the bond of marriage to survive the tests of time.
These are common mistakes that can really take a toll and even cost your marriage if you allow them to. Avoid making them and you have a fair chance at having a healthier, happier, and more loving relationship with your husband now and in the years to come.